Why am I writing this blog?

Euclid (Cleveland), Ohio, United States
Here I share the amazing spiritual journey I began on July 19, 2007. I received the diagnosis of a golf-ball-sized tumor on top of the left parietal lobe (motor functions) of my brain. I had severe symptoms all up and down the right side of my body and had received an MRI scan of my brain. In August 2007, I learned that my diagnosis was a Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM). This is a common form of fast-growing brain cancer with a challenging prognosis. That's the external story about that moment in time. In the spiritual world I found (actually more like it found me) what I came to call the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path, and I began an amazing journey. After October of 2008, I lost the use of my right arm, and in early 2009, my cognitive abilities were struggling, and treatment options ended. My wife, Susanne, then began doing most of the blog postings, with my review and input whenever possible. I continued to apply the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path as the adventure continued. My soul then flew to the Kingdom of God on July 1, 2009. Thanks for your interest in my journey. Craig

Susanne's Perspective

During this entire journey, my wife, Susanne, had an entirely different kind of experience. Initially she added comments to some of my posts describing her experience of the moments I discussed and offerred perspectives on our relationship. In the latter stage of this journey, she is writing the blog, as I am no longer able to do so. I am truly delighted that she is doing so. Susanne and I work together as marriage educators/relationship coaches and she has written many books on preparing for and strengthening marriages so you can count on her comments to be insightful and poignant.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Update - Time of Change - January 25, 2009

Dear Family and Friends: It’s been almost a month since we last posted an update and it’s time to let you know our current situation.

January has been a month of re-assessment, as Craig has left home therapy and re-entered outpatient therapy. He’s been poked, prodded, tested, and evaluated by physical, occupational, and speech therapists. He has regular homework from them all, too! He began with 1-hour long sessions, but has since transitioned into a special “Neuro Day Program”. This involves him going to Euclid Hospital’s Rehab center every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. There are group activities, meals together with other participants, and individual and group sessions with a social worker and a psychologist, all in addition to the three types of therapy. So far, this has been a very positive experience and helps to relieve Craig’s boredom! And, it gives Susanne some time to accomplish a variety of tasks.

We’ve both been processing and reaching acceptance that Craig is not likely to be able to work again. His company is discussing severing his employment in February, although they have worked with us to preserve his benefits. The long-term disability from them will continue, but we are also being required to file for Social Security Disability.

Physically, January has been a bit of a challenge. Craig has fallen three times, twice requiring the paramedics, as Susanne was not able to lift him back up. The right leg has been buckling under him periodically, often making him unsteady. All of this has placed higher physical demands on Susanne, as well as prompting her to increase her cautiousness, much to Craig’s annoyance!

Mentally, it’s clear Craig has slipped backwards. Dialing the phone or processing numbers at all is tortuous. He often loses track of the sequence or order that something is supposed to occur in. Reading and speech have slowed down somewhat, with difficulty in finding or saying the right word at times. His short-term memory has become poor. Susanne took a mental/emotional/spiritual/physical health break and went on retreat the weekend of January 9-11. Nik Tressler stayed with Craig. There was a foot of snow all weekend, so that facilitated hibernation by all of us.

We (and the doctors) are uncertain whether the deterioration that is occurring in Craig’s condition is side-effects from the medications, whether the tumor is on the march again, or a combination of both. February 13th will be the next MRI and doctor meeting, and we’ll consult our medical intuitive on the 17th. Hopefully, between the two, we will get some indicators of what is occurring and be able to choose our next steps. In parallel, Susanne has broken out in a stress-induced very itchy rash, which thankfully the doctor is now medicating.

We are aware that at some point in this medical journey, Craig’s funeral may be what we are facing. Initially, Craig did not want to be part of contingency funeral planning, and Susanne was doing it behind the scenes. He has now requested to participate as best as he can so that he helps guide the service that will honor his life and service. We are planning as many of the details of it as possible now, and then we plan to set it aside until such time in the future the work is needed. Obviously, the outcome and timing for Craig is in God’s hands.

In the meantime, we are staying busy visiting with family and friends (we encourage people to be in contact with us and set up time to come visit), watching movies (we have joined www.blockbuster.com), eating well, napping, reading, getting to The Gathering Place when we can, hosting a spiritual study circle, and preparing the 2008 financial reports to get ready for taxes. Susanne is grateful to have Craig’s input as she does this activity for the first time on her own. We are praying together and doing our best one day at a time.

Love,

Craig and Susanne