Why am I writing this blog?

Euclid (Cleveland), Ohio, United States
Here I share the amazing spiritual journey I began on July 19, 2007. I received the diagnosis of a golf-ball-sized tumor on top of the left parietal lobe (motor functions) of my brain. I had severe symptoms all up and down the right side of my body and had received an MRI scan of my brain. In August 2007, I learned that my diagnosis was a Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM). This is a common form of fast-growing brain cancer with a challenging prognosis. That's the external story about that moment in time. In the spiritual world I found (actually more like it found me) what I came to call the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path, and I began an amazing journey. After October of 2008, I lost the use of my right arm, and in early 2009, my cognitive abilities were struggling, and treatment options ended. My wife, Susanne, then began doing most of the blog postings, with my review and input whenever possible. I continued to apply the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path as the adventure continued. My soul then flew to the Kingdom of God on July 1, 2009. Thanks for your interest in my journey. Craig

Susanne's Perspective

During this entire journey, my wife, Susanne, had an entirely different kind of experience. Initially she added comments to some of my posts describing her experience of the moments I discussed and offerred perspectives on our relationship. In the latter stage of this journey, she is writing the blog, as I am no longer able to do so. I am truly delighted that she is doing so. Susanne and I work together as marriage educators/relationship coaches and she has written many books on preparing for and strengthening marriages so you can count on her comments to be insightful and poignant.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Craig Update and Unpeaceful Christmas Season Update - Dec. 30, 2008

Dear Family and Friends: I’ve been reflecting on where I am these days and want to share how I’m doing physically, mentally/emotionally, and spiritually.

PHYSICAL:

I still have virtually no ability to move my right arm and hand. I have regained much movement in my right leg and a little movement in my right foot. I am getting better at walking up and down stairs with someone helping me, both inside and outside our home. At times now I go down the inside stairs to the garage and car instead of using the wheelchair down the ramp. A neighbor put safety bars across the top of the basement stairs to protect my safety on this route. I will finish in-home physical therapy January 1st and transition to outpatient therapy. I continue to have a significant amount of fatigue, primarily as a side-effect of medications, and therefore take two naps a day and sleep a full night as well. The fatigue and fogginess are affecting my reading ability at times. I seem to be best able to cope with light novels right now and read much slower than I used to.

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL:

I’m very frustrated by not being able to use my right arm and hand at all. That functionality was lost after the last seizure episode in October. I’m grateful the progress with the leg is continuing and I’m able to get around the house better and get out more, such as for dinner at restaurants or to visit friends. My former ability to be very sharp with numbers has been slipping, making it difficult at times to dial the phone and remember key numbers. I totally made up a new social security number this week for the rehab center! I have not worked since mid-August now, which is difficult and frustrating, but unfortunately necessary. I’m now starting to face the prospect of never working again, and I don’t welcome that. I’m grateful to still have enough cognitive ability, though, that I can discuss things with Susanne and help with making family decisions.

SPIRITUAL:

I continue to experience a state of calmness and serenity around what the ultimate outcome of this journey may be. I am NOT giving up the fight, but I also recognize that this journey may include my soul passing on to the next world. I continue to remain in a state of prayer and meditation regularly. It has truly become a part of the ongoing fabric of my life. Susanne and I have resumed having morning prayers together each day, including saying the Baha’i Long Healing Prayer together most days. I struggle at times with the words, but for the most part the prayers are still flowing for me. I’m still occasionally able to sing a prayer as well. We are having an interfaith spiritual study circle at our home regularly, currently with a focus on the Baha’i teachings about life after death, which is supporting my spiritual journey.

CHRISTMAS WEEK:

We had expected this time to be very quiet and restful, as no visitors were here, and we had no plans to go anywhere. Instead, we had three events that occurred to liven up our days and make them less than restful.

1. On the 24th, an ice storm caused our power to go out during the night, so we awoke to a very cold house. Due to the imminent holiday and small number of work crews on duty, the power company was unable to give us an estimate of when power would resume. In case the outage lasted through the Christmas holiday, we made arrangements for me to move to a nursing home. We got part way through checking me in there when the power came back on, and we returned back home. At least I got a free lunch from the deal!

2. About 10:30 p.m. on the evening of the 25th, Susanne said goodnight to me downstairs and went up and turned her bedroom light on. Very quickly, the whole upstairs filled with noxious fumes. She called 911 and got me up and dressed. The fire department responded promptly and determined that the problem was with the compact fluorescent bulbs in the overhead light fixture, which had begun to melt. On checking later, it was clear that the decades-old fixture was defective, and we are now replacing it and checking all the original light fixtures we haven’t already replaced with new ones. Unfortunately, Susanne has been having episodes of vertigo since then, which may be connected to the toxicity. She is seeing our family doctor and undergoing tests and medication. Dave Farnsworth filled in for her today by taking me to my cancer treatment and then out to lunch.

3. After months of issues with our main business computer, we finally had a service reformat the hard drive of it and get it updated. It took hours on the 27th for the gentleman from the service company to then get it and our network back up and running properly.

I think this brings us up-to-date with all of you. We hope you have had a blessed holiday season and that this finds you well and happy.

Craig (with Susanne as faithful typist!)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

My prayers remain with you, and with Susanne.

Love, Judy

Susan said...

It is so nice to "hear your voice" Craig, although Susanne has been a wonderful relayer of information. I pray you continue to improve. I know that you are surrounded by love and prayers.

s.