Why am I writing this blog?

Euclid (Cleveland), Ohio, United States
Here I share the amazing spiritual journey I began on July 19, 2007. I received the diagnosis of a golf-ball-sized tumor on top of the left parietal lobe (motor functions) of my brain. I had severe symptoms all up and down the right side of my body and had received an MRI scan of my brain. In August 2007, I learned that my diagnosis was a Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM). This is a common form of fast-growing brain cancer with a challenging prognosis. That's the external story about that moment in time. In the spiritual world I found (actually more like it found me) what I came to call the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path, and I began an amazing journey. After October of 2008, I lost the use of my right arm, and in early 2009, my cognitive abilities were struggling, and treatment options ended. My wife, Susanne, then began doing most of the blog postings, with my review and input whenever possible. I continued to apply the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path as the adventure continued. My soul then flew to the Kingdom of God on July 1, 2009. Thanks for your interest in my journey. Craig

Susanne's Perspective

During this entire journey, my wife, Susanne, had an entirely different kind of experience. Initially she added comments to some of my posts describing her experience of the moments I discussed and offerred perspectives on our relationship. In the latter stage of this journey, she is writing the blog, as I am no longer able to do so. I am truly delighted that she is doing so. Susanne and I work together as marriage educators/relationship coaches and she has written many books on preparing for and strengthening marriages so you can count on her comments to be insightful and poignant.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

Week 2 of Second Phase of Treatment: January 6 to 12

It was another week of Ups and Downs.

Ups:

 The MRI scan showed no visible tumor re-growth and no infection involvement below the surface. (YEAH!) This MRI had been moved up from February 4 due to the presence of infection around the incision that I noted in the previous post.:

 I passed my driving fitness test at the Euclid Rehabilitation Center, so I am now permitted to drive for the first time since July. (Double YEAH!) The restriction was due to the leg spasming I was experiencing just prior to the tumor being diagnosed and the ongoing muscle/nerve recovery and numbness in the right leg. The surgeon interpreted the spasms as seizure activity which, under Ohio State Law, means an automatic 6 month without driving. It feels great to be behind the wheel again. This will take one burden off Susanne, who prefers to drive a lot less than she has been. My first trip was to the Toastmasters meeting on Thursday, as Susanne wasn’t feeling well enough to go. I had loaned my truck to a friend the last few months. Now it’s back home!!:

Downs:

 At 2:15 AM Sunday, January 6 our good friend Stephanie Dornbrook peacefully passed from this world (she had pancreatic cancer), surrounded by her loving family. The standing room only crowd at the funeral home on Monday was a clear testimony to the many hearts she touched, including mine. As I shared at the funeral service, my life has been intersecting with Stephanie’s since we first met in 1971. She and Dustin were newlyweds and I was living at home with my parents after my freshman year at college. We met at a Bahá’í conference and the three of us immediately became friends. Our lives continued to intertwine over the years, as our children grew up together. She also officiated Susanne’s and my wedding. I will miss her. We took her husband, Dustin, to dinner on Tuesday night before support group meetings at The Gathering Place.:

 We saw the surgeon on Wednesday regarding the infection on my head. Unfortunately, it didn’t look as bad when we were at the doctor’s as first thing in the morning. It looked worse Thursday and Friday mornings though, so we went back and saw the nurse on Friday…and yet another blood test. It is annoying to have infection come up from the surgery almost 5 months ago, although we keep hearing from people that it can take a long time for dissolvable sutures to actually dissolve and suture problems aren’t unusual. Fighting off the infection even with taking an antibiotic is a bit harder post-chemo though, since my white blood cell count is a bit low. I’m taking more anti-oxidants and eating more oranges to help.:

We’ve been spending more time since returning from Florida just doing quiet, home activities, trying to conserve our energy and heal. One of my Christmas presents was a set of DVD’s of the enhanced three original Star Wars movies. So, we’ve watched those and other movies, played Scrabble, and read books. I’m working this weekend on doing the end-of-year Marriage Transformation finances, and we’ve both been cleaning out files and organizing our offices. Lots of naps too of course! The post-chemo fatigue (and constant doctor’s visits) is challenging, especially since I’m not able to work as much as I’d like.:

Susanne has been open to making some adjustments in my diet to increase my food intake with my decreased appetite. Homemade milkshakes and cottage cheese have tasted so good!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

The rest of the story….

I admit I’m very happy and relieved to have Craig back driving again (although I haven’t been in the car yet with him behind the wheel!). I’ve done what I had to do, but it hasn’t been easy having him that dependent on me for transportation. It got me out of house hibernation mode though…probably not a bad thing! I’d become pretty comfortable hiding out in my office. And, I’ll still drive when his energy level is low, as I did this week with the doctor’s visits.

Every time we’ve gone to the doctor/hospital this week I’ve wondered if they will admit Craig as an inpatient. A level of underlying tension just travels down there with me. Finally, by Thursday I ended up with a migraine. I’ll be so glad to see this infection gone. It’s hard not to be very annoyed that the doctors weren’t finding and treating the infection before the lump burst and before chemo started. We kept reporting the problem. Frustrating!

It’s very confirming that we are doing many positive things in response to Craig’s cancer diagnosis that his MRI’s are staying clear, though. I have to remind him that one of the positive actions we’ve taken is limiting his dairy intake though…he wants those milkshakes and dishes of cottage cheese to be regular features on the diet plan! Nope!

Stephanie’s funeral was very emotional. There was a lot of laughter among the tears though. Humor and wit abound in the family. It seems one never quite knows how much someone touches others lives until funerals happen…It was so clear that Stephanie lived her life dedicated to loving her family, creating beauty, and making a difference for people. Part of what made the experience so emotional was of course projecting us into their circumstances. What would it be like if it were Craig and I and our children and mothers in that situation?

In these days since the funeral and accompanying Dustin to the support group on Tuesday evening, the form of a book on cancer and marriage is taking shape. Our power was out one night and I woke in the dark, quiet hours communing with inspiration and figuring it out (Craig supplies me with lighted pens!). We’ve been asked to have the book be available at a marriage conference in early July. Part of what made the book clear was watching the love and strength in Stephanie and Dustin’s marriage as they dealt with whatever happened. Baha’is believe that marriage is eternal…and the bond between them will no doubt last forever. I pray that Craig and I will continue to be as strong as their inspirational example.

Susan said...

Craig, I appreciate your being clear minded enough to divide your recent experiences into ups and downs. My observations about myself is that they all get muddled and depending on where I am at the moment physically and/or emotionally, that's what takes precedence. I also really enjoy seeing Susanne's perspective on the rest of the story. This type of open communication is a wonderful model for all of us.

Congratulations on driving again ... I know that brings a certain amount of freedom and dignity back to your very full life. I'm glad that a book is forthcoming ... I certainly am looking forward to that.
You are both in my prayers.
s.