This was a very spiritual period.
On Thursday October 18, we attended another session of the Spirituality Group at the Gathering Place. I take great joy in sharing about the spiritual PLAN (as described above) I have chosen and hear what others are doing. This group is very receptive to this kind of conversation.
We had been invited, by my dear friend Debbie Boyd-Tressler, to attend a Healing Retreat, this weekend, which was being put on by the local Sufi community. The Sufis can be considered as a mystically oriented tradition from Islam that arose, in Iran, shortly after the revelation of the Holy Quran. The Americanized version of it seems to take a very universalistic approach to all of the world’s religions. Part of the retreat included an “Informal Universal Worship Service” where they read from and honored the scriptures of most of the world’s major religions. We shared some of Bahá’u’lláh’s “Seven Valleys and Four Valleys” that was revealed for the Sufis and also taught them a song. It was well received. It was very easy to share about the Bahá’í Faith, which was great fun.
My primary reason for attending this retreat was to gather as much spiritual energy around healing as I could. The timing was perfect, as I’ve now completed 3 of 6 weeks of the chemo/radiation regime. The weather was perfect, and the trees changing to autumn colors were gorgeous. The meeting room we used at Camp Asbury in Hiram had large windows and was surrounded with balcony and colorful trees very close in. I felt encircled in love and healing energy and wrote my second poem since leaving the hospital in August:
Autumn Trees
Flowing drifting floating.
Gentle waves reach over me.
Encircling me in light.
Encircling me in healing.
The energy of life abounds.
The power of love transforms.
I feel connected to all of this…as a lesson to absorb.
The gentle breeze filters through the swaying trees caressing them with love.
A reminder of God’s eternal love available at all times.
10/20/07
Hiram, Ohio
Sufi Healing Retreat
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The Rest of the Story…
The Spirituality Group meeting focused on the importance of being present in the moment. It reinforced for us the practice of enjoying each day and not projecting into the future. It was a timely reminder for me…I had spent energy in the middle of the night the two previous nights having future conversations in my head with Craig’s doctors. I’m always spotting things I wish were different, going into “activist” mode, and getting all wound up.
One of the messages in the Sufi Healing Retreat was also similar…reminding us to be present to the spiritual forces surrounding us. There were powerful moments for me in private meditation of feeling very connected and loved by friends and others who have passed to the next world. The confirmation that I’m not ever alone no matter what happens was a much needed message.
The drive out to the retreat center Friday evening was a difficult for me. I was very tired after a week with multiple trips to the hospital with Craig’s appointments, the funeral Thursday of a 25-year old friend who died of diabetes, and the funeral Friday of an elderly friend. (And, yes, I slipped out of the present for moments of the funerals, wondering about the future with Craig, but I did my best to stay with what was happening.) The back roads were unfamiliar and we arrived at the camp in the dark. I was very tense by the time we got there. However, we were immediately welcomed, and I was able to step in and participate with the sharing circle that was just beginning. Later in the evening, Debbie shared with the group that it was a Bahá’í holy day (The Birth of the Bab), and we were invited to share a bit about the purpose of the day. Craig raised his voice in singing the first of a number of songs throughout the weekend. His voice brings such happiness to people (and to me!).
Most of the people were not there with spouses and slept in men’s or women’s dorm rooms, but they had reserved a room for Craig and me to have together, which was a blessing. Before bedtime, they announced that there would be a 4:20 a.m. meditation session, because they believe that time is when there is intense gathering of prophets, manifestations, angels, and holy souls. I had decided at bedtime not to interrupt sleep and get up. However, when I heard Craig arising, I made the decision that the weekend was an adventure and I wanted to participate fully. I did the sessions both mornings, and really felt a strong spiritual connection. The second morning included a sojourn on the balcony communing with a skyfull of stars and a meteor shower. Awesome…
I struggle with sitting still for long periods of meditation and learning, so the weekend had moments of challenge for me. But, it was great feeling the energy of the group, watching Craig exulting in the supportive energy of 20 people chanting healing prayers around him, and participating in a forgiveness ceremony. A highlight for me was a solo walk into the woods, where I reflected on how much of my life I spend avoiding doing things out of fear. So, I walked off the pathways and didn’t worry about poison ivy, walked successfully across a challenge course balance beam, and laid down on the forest floor in a pile of leaves to look upward and fully enjoy the dance of the wind through the multicolored trees. At the end of the retreat, Craig and I also found a stretch of green grass and clover and lay down to soak up the sunshine for a few minutes.
The low dose of steroids that Craig is now back on helped the numbness in his leg to recede, and he walked briskly around the camp, up and down small hills and along gravel roadways with no difficulties. It’s great having him back to walking at a more normal pace! (Still with the cane for momentary imbalances, but it’s less and less needed.)
When I read Craig’s blog posting I was struck with how fixated he is on his PLAN and shared with him the encouragement to create space for living and not be quite so rigidly focused on everything revolving around his healing plan. Over the last few days, after I expressed feeling as if I were only a peripheral part of his healing plan, we have begun saying the Long Healing Prayer together in the mornings. That helps me to feel included.
p.s. Craig commented very naturally during the retreat that this should be an annual event in our lives. You can definitely tell by his outlook that he totally rejected the doctor’s comment that he might have only 11-14 months to live! Yay!
p.s. Craig commented very naturally during the retreat that this should be an annual event in our lives. You can definitely tell by his outlook that he totally rejects the average statistics associated with GBM diagnosis (only 50% survive 12 to 18 months after diagnosis). He has, in fact, repeatedly stated... “He’s not average”! Yay!
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