When I began the blog, I described what I was experiencing as an “amazing spiritual journey” that I’d “come to call the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path.”
- Does this still feel as true now as it did a year ago? YES. My understandings around the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path have grown, developed, and been modified to a certain extent. But, my core feeling is that July 19, 2007 at about 2:00 p.m., when I got the diagnosis, is a moment in time that I will forever recognize as a spiritual transformation of my very being.
- How has my thinking about this Path been modified? A key piece of the modification has been in realizing how difficult it is for many to grasp and apply the “Fact-Based” portion of the Path. Maybe it’s the scientist/engineer in me that allowed me to immediately grasp the importance of focusing on the fact of the diagnosis without descending into severe anxiety. My college degree is Physics and my work career of the last 25 years has been in R&D, Product Management, and technical sales, so I’m pretty darned good at sorting out the essential information. However, I have also struggled at times with anxiety when the facts have been unclear due to limitations in medical equipment or misinformation.
- How did the Spiritual Journey unfold from July 19? The first was my being Spirit-Guided to calmly prepare for the hospital stay and leave home with the picture of my wife and grandkids and the “Three Tools of Healing” poster. It felt Spirit-Guided to me to make lots of personal connections with friends and family prior to surgery and then to recover from the tumor removal with a high level of tranquility, yet fully determined to walk normally again. It was almost 4 weeks after the surgery that we got the official pathology report. By that time, I was fully ramped down from the high level of steroids that they put me on pre-surgery to reduce brain swelling and was able to continue on the Path. My conviction of being a participant vs a passenger in the surgery and treatment have strengthened throughout the process.
- What was next and how did I apply the Path? The researching phase was next, which began with a message out to friends and family seeking well-researched conventional medicine treatments and well-researched alternative or complimentary medicine and healing methods. I wanted the means of maintaining personal wellbeing and the strength of the body’s immune system while undergoing the conventional medicine option. I was clear that I wanted to avoid receiving alternative approaches that were only anecdotally-supported (for example, this worked for someone…). These, to me, bordered on pseudo-science (no research demonstrating effectiveness).This was a very powerful distinction to have articulated and I have continued to find it useful.
As part of the researching, we traveled to the Block Integrative Cancer Care Center in
- Where did I go from there? In large part motivated by the book “Love, Medicine, and Miracles”, I gained further affirmation of the power of visualization work and the importance of being an active participant in the treatment process. I created specific plans around each of the 3 phases of treatment: 1) Six weeks of radiation/chemotherapy, 2) A six-week rest break, and 3) Long-term chemotherapy. For each of these phases, I worked with a hypnotherapist, who created sessions that I tape recorded and listen to frequently, and which reinforce the current plan.
- Do I still have thoughts/plans of setting up a means of teaching people about how to apply this Path in their lives? I do. I initially thought it would be quite easy to accomplish but, now I know it’s going to take a fair amount of work to structure the program, and I may need a collaborator. I’ve put this on hold to focus finishing my treatment and getting on with life.
So the journey continues!!!
During this week, there were several wonderful opportunities to share my journey:
1. Deb Wood, the reporter for the U.S. Bahá’í Website that did an article on my journey in November, interviewed me again and posted an update.
2. Susanne and I were interviewed by Ted Henry, a local TV news anchor, for a 2.5-minute segment about spirituality and cancer. It will air on the Friday 6 p.m. news sometime soon.
3. We had dinner with a couple who shared with us their 5-year journey responding to a glioblastoma tumor the husband experienced.
4. My long-time friend Chris Ruhe came to town with his voice and guitar, along with John and Joe Rafalak as drummer and saxophonist, and did a house concert at our place on Friday, July 25. Long-time friend Dan Twaddell, a jazz musician living and studying in
Annnnnnd, there were no medical incidents or seizure activity for the entire week!!!! YEAH! My eldest daughter, Michelle, and her husband, Hooman, also celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary!
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The rest of the story…
Craig and I have been talking about this “anniversary” as it approached and wondering to what extent we should note and commemorate it. We are being low-key about it, but it is definitely worth looking back and acknowledging how far and well we have come in this year. I feel a mix of joy and gratitude that Craig has done so well. And, the bond of our marriage has strengthened and grown over this year.
When I look in the mirror or check in with my body, though, I feel much older than I did a year ago. I have poured out so much time and energy into Craig’s health and healing, that I’m now wondering what I need to do to regenerate to keep going (since, thankfully, there is much to keep going for!). We have done our very best to make sure Craig had the best chance of the cancer leaving his body or optimum health if it recurred. I wouldn’t have changed that choice. And…it’s taken a toll.
It was great to reflect on our spiritual growth and connections as we interacted with Ted Henry for the interview. We enjoy sharing, so it was fun. It was a good chance to share with the public how much we appreciate the Gathering Place. I also appreciated the filming of us walking in the Gathering Place’s gardens afterward…I got to hold hands with Craig and sit together on one of the benches. A moment of love…
Both because it’s relieving stress and because we were about to have a house-full of company, I have been sorting out the house and doing some deeper cleaning. One fun aspect of this has been uncovering boxes of pictures and photos in the storage room and doing some redecorating. Many of the photos were ones I took 10-12 years ago while I was exploring whether to be a photographer or writer or both. Many reflect times of peace, serenity, and positive memories. So, it’s good to have them back up instead of in boxes.
It was exhausting to prepare for company, but a joyful service, too. The music was wonderful, and friends helped with food setup and cleanup. The three traveling musicians stayed the night and next morning with us, so it was uplifting all the way around. We napped and went to the Mama Mia movie for our recovery. Fun date night! And then, no plans today…
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