Why am I writing this blog?

Euclid (Cleveland), Ohio, United States
Here I share the amazing spiritual journey I began on July 19, 2007. I received the diagnosis of a golf-ball-sized tumor on top of the left parietal lobe (motor functions) of my brain. I had severe symptoms all up and down the right side of my body and had received an MRI scan of my brain. In August 2007, I learned that my diagnosis was a Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM). This is a common form of fast-growing brain cancer with a challenging prognosis. That's the external story about that moment in time. In the spiritual world I found (actually more like it found me) what I came to call the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path, and I began an amazing journey. After October of 2008, I lost the use of my right arm, and in early 2009, my cognitive abilities were struggling, and treatment options ended. My wife, Susanne, then began doing most of the blog postings, with my review and input whenever possible. I continued to apply the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path as the adventure continued. My soul then flew to the Kingdom of God on July 1, 2009. Thanks for your interest in my journey. Craig

Susanne's Perspective

During this entire journey, my wife, Susanne, had an entirely different kind of experience. Initially she added comments to some of my posts describing her experience of the moments I discussed and offerred perspectives on our relationship. In the latter stage of this journey, she is writing the blog, as I am no longer able to do so. I am truly delighted that she is doing so. Susanne and I work together as marriage educators/relationship coaches and she has written many books on preparing for and strengthening marriages so you can count on her comments to be insightful and poignant.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Pathology Report

We just received the pathology report from the doctor, and it shows that what was surgically removed on July 27 from my brain was a Grade 4 Glioblastoma Multiforme (cancerous tumor) with some cells remaining behind. They further confirmed that what they removed came out in a single solid mass (Gross Total Resection), which is unusual, but good news. Tumors are graded from 1 (best) to 4 (most aggressive). This means that aggressive radiation/chemo treatment is recommended, and I will receive further information when I meet with an oncologist. I certainly wish that the outcome was otherwise but I am fully confident that I will overcome this and get on with my life. I have a very positive attitude and am in excellent shape mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

A significant part of the delay in getting this report was that they chose to send out a sample to another laboratory for further testing and a second opinion…they were being extra thorough. Also, there will be a short delay in getting the treatment underway because the incision is not quite healed as well as it should be, and there is some surface infection that just showed up last night. I will be on some antibiotics for the next week and see the doctor again next Wednesday, August 29, when hopefully treatment can proceed.

I am well aware that there is a large body of information available on various types of cancer and cancer treatment options. I’d like to make it very clear that my own personal understanding is that this information is primarily of 3 types:

  1. Well-researched conventional medicine
  2. Well-researched alternative medicine and healing methods covering both treatment options and means of maintaining personal wellbeing and the strength of the body’s immune system while undergoing the conventional medicine option
  3. Anecdotally-supported (for example, this worked for someone…) alternative approaches that, to me, border on pseudo-science (no research basis demonstrating effectiveness)

I obviously will have full recommendations for the first type of information from the surgeon and oncologist but would value other perspectives. I would be most interested in receiving any of the second type of information that applies to my diagnosis. I have no interest in trying to sort through any of the third type to find a grain of truth, so please do not send this type of information to me.

Thank you for your prayers and loving support for me and for my family and friends as we respond to this challenge.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

My husband is 17 months into GMB with traditional treatment (surgery, radiation, chemo, temador). My suggestion is that you at least look at Brain Cancer Institutes. There are 8 of them in the US and I don't know where you live, but we have consulted with 3 and are doing our treatment locally. There are many resources, such as the virtualtrials.com and the cancercompass.com. God bless your journey.

Anonymous said...

The rest of the story….

We decided not to broadcast that the early biopsy done in the operating room appeared to be cancerous. We got that report on Sunday, July 29th. The doctors said much could change between the early report and the final pathology report. Craig, in particular, wanted to wait for clear and accurate facts. That Sunday morning, Craig had not eaten solid food since Thursday midnight when he had to fast for surgery. The resident gave him the results right before breakfast. Craig called me at home and in one sentence gave me the result (which translated to “It’s cancerous.” In the next sentence, he said “Oh my oatmeal is here, gotta go, bye” and hung up. I stood holding the telephone in shock, angrier than I’d ever been at Craig in our entire marriage. Our poor friend Nik then had to listen to me pour it all out on the phone!

I called someone to take me to the hospital right away. Craig called back in the meantime, but I refused to talk to him. When I arrived, an associate of Craig’s surgeon and a resident were about to visit him, so instead they stood with me for 10 minutes and explained the test result and its significance and calmed me down. By the time I then went into the room with Craig I was calmer and some sense of humor was beginning to glimmer. The cancer-oatmeal moment has been one for our storybook.

The blessing from this initial report was that it allowed me some time to adjust to what the pathology report was likely to finally say. I’ve worried that others in the family were not having that adjustment time. Craig was adamant that any pathology reports about the tumor were irrelevant…they only reflected what was gone from his head. He was only interested in hearing about what was left behind. As we got the pathology report, I think he finally realized that, in his case, they were the same thing. And the final report was actually worse than the initial one.

It’s been upsetting to understand that the incision should have been healed and that I hadn’t recognized that there was a problem until the infection began. I’m now experiencing guilt, frustration, and concern over the delay. And…there is nothing to do about it now. I just hope the antibiotics are quickly effective.

Cancer is so epidemic in our world, and the options for treatment are so varied. The challenge for us now is to examine the facts, consult with experts, seek spiritual guidance, and choose as wisely as possible. Not an easy feat…

Anne said...

Hi Susanne and Craig,
My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I have had some experience with having a spouse with a serious illness, my late husband had cancer in 1999, and we pursued a natural treatment path (his choice, with my full support). I remember the fear, the hope, the anxiety, the reliance on faith, and the exhaustion (mostly the exhaustion). I wish I had some words of comfort of offer you now, but let me just offer you my friendship and my prayers, and hopefully in some small way, my understanding.