January has been a month of re-assessment, as Craig has left home therapy and re-entered outpatient therapy. He’s been poked, prodded, tested, and evaluated by physical, occupational, and speech therapists. He has regular homework from them all, too! He began with 1-hour long sessions, but has since transitioned into a special “Neuro Day Program”. This involves him going to Euclid Hospital’s Rehab center every Tuesday and Thursday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. There are group activities, meals together with other participants, and individual and group sessions with a social worker and a psychologist, all in addition to the three types of therapy. So far, this has been a very positive experience and helps to relieve Craig’s boredom! And, it gives Susanne some time to accomplish a variety of tasks.
We’ve both been processing and reaching acceptance that Craig is not likely to be able to work again. His company is discussing severing his employment in February, although they have worked with us to preserve his benefits. The long-term disability from them will continue, but we are also being required to file for Social Security Disability.
Physically, January has been a bit of a challenge. Craig has fallen three times, twice requiring the paramedics, as Susanne was not able to lift him back up. The right leg has been buckling under him periodically, often making him unsteady. All of this has placed higher physical demands on Susanne, as well as prompting her to increase her cautiousness, much to Craig’s annoyance!
Mentally, it’s clear Craig has slipped backwards. Dialing the phone or processing numbers at all is tortuous. He often loses track of the sequence or order that something is supposed to occur in. Reading and speech have slowed down somewhat, with difficulty in finding or saying the right word at times. His short-term memory has become poor. Susanne took a mental/emotional/spiritual/physical health break and went on retreat the weekend of January 9-11. Nik Tressler stayed with Craig. There was a foot of snow all weekend, so that facilitated hibernation by all of us.
We (and the doctors) are uncertain whether the deterioration that is occurring in Craig’s condition is side-effects from the medications, whether the tumor is on the march again, or a combination of both. February 13th will be the next MRI and doctor meeting, and we’ll consult our medical intuitive on the 17th. Hopefully, between the two, we will get some indicators of what is occurring and be able to choose our next steps. In parallel, Susanne has broken out in a stress-induced very itchy rash, which thankfully the doctor is now medicating.
We are aware that at some point in this medical journey, Craig’s funeral may be what we are facing. Initially, Craig did not want to be part of contingency funeral planning, and Susanne was doing it behind the scenes. He has now requested to participate as best as he can so that he helps guide the service that will honor his life and service. We are planning as many of the details of it as possible now, and then we plan to set it aside until such time in the future the work is needed. Obviously, the outcome and timing for Craig is in God’s hands.
In the meantime, we are staying busy visiting with family and friends (we encourage people to be in contact with us and set up time to come visit), watching movies (we have joined www.blockbuster.com), eating well, napping, reading, getting to The Gathering Place when we can, hosting a spiritual study circle, and preparing the 2008 financial reports to get ready for taxes. Susanne is grateful to have Craig’s input as she does this activity for the first time on her own. We are praying together and doing our best one day at a time.
Love,
Craig and Susanne
5 comments:
Dear Craig and Susanne,
Just writing to send a few words of support and let you know you're in my prayers. Your books have been so helpful to me, I wish I could offer something in return, but all I can think of is just my good wishes for your health and comfort and my prayers. So your "cyber friend" in Pennsylvania is sending you her very best thoughts! You have both touched so many lives. Wishing you peace and health.
Craig,
I'm sorry to learn of your problem. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
You might be interested to know that the gas furnace industry is currently trying to find cheaper steels to use.
I am the old man telling them about the furnace corrosion test!
All of your good work is remembered and valued. And, it continues...
Love,
Bob Borgeson
Thanks for the update. I appreciate your frankness and transparency through all of this. Ordeal is the word that comes to me, in the sense of a great purifying test. Such clear-eyed courage you both have shown. All the attributes of God you have reflected. Patience, constancy, forebearance, generosity, humor, truthfulness, love, affection. You are ever in my prayers.
Love, Judy
I wish I could visit - alas, I can only offer prayers, but those flow constantly for both of you. A beautiful line, from a quotation on hope from 'Abdu'l-Baha: "Man is under all conditions immersed in a sea of God's blessings."
Dear Susanne,
It's great that you had a chance to have a mental/spiritual/physical/emotional break! It's hard to give when you are so drained! I trust that the new course of action (stopping anti-cancer meds, etc.) is the best you and the doctors can do for dear Craig. The example you have set for couples during this time of care has been in and of itself most inspiring. Hang in there! You and Craig are an example to many families. Craig's positive attitude and steadfastness as well as your sacrifices are lessons for us all.
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