The Zone of Receiving Divine Love – March 1, 2009

Throughout Craig’s illness, we have had the blessing at times of being with a wonderful woman who is both a medical intuitive and who also has the gift from God of deep connections to the spiritual world around us and insights about what is happening. Some of what she shared with us on February 17th may be of interest to you and may be of assistance to those of you feeling anxiety about us.

Julie encouraged us to recognize that Craig and I are still putting out a great deal of energy but that we need to be far more tuned into receiving the universal love that God provides, to be in a “Receiving Zone”. The more we are tuned into this force of love, the more cushioning there is from the “rawness” of this experience. She said she could see that Craig is focused on maintaining the steadfastness of his faith and that I’m focused on radiantly accepting or acquiescing with what is happening, but that it will help both of us to “shift our lens to receiving mode,” both love from God and from others. As we do this and don’t fight the current of the Will of God, we will learn more and be unified together. First comes love and then comes knowledge and truth. So, we have been dancing with this concept in the days since and starting to feel its effects. We invite you to include in your prayers that we be successful in making this shift in viewpoint.

Julie reminded us that the process of leaving this world can be like the transition stage of giving birth. Women in that stage are assured and prepared for birth and enthusiastic, but then have personality shifts and begin to swear, beg for drugs, and want to stop the process and check out of the hospital. Craig will have his private soul times of grappling with his fears, but this is part of the sacred work for him to do at this time. God’s Grace and support in waves will accompany his transition. She assured me that the grieving and emotional work of the last two years will help me to not fall apart or have extreme severity in the grieving time after Craig eventually passes. The descriptions I have been reading about being a widow have been a bit scary (!), so this was lovely reassurance to hear.

Julie encouraged us to breathe (something I keep stopping doing when it’s a bit too busy and the to-do list seems overwhelming!) and enjoy this goodly period, to take advantage of every moment. It’s going to all work out. The learning from this time will stay with me the rest of my life. People have been amazed at our calmness in planning Craig’s funeral over the last weeks – Julie said there is a shield around us in the process that is helping us do what needs to be done. [Working on projects together is also very much a part of the culture of our marriage!] As we travel this unfamiliar path of accompanying Craig while he lives and engages in the myriad of relationships that surround him, we have many wonderful helpers. And many offers of help. I have done an excellent job of asking for and receiving help, but I know I still have much growth to do in this area. As the to-do list overwhelms me at times, I can tell I sometimes need to expand my circle of helpers. [And I delegated a great team to handle Craig’s upcoming party!]

Of great assurance to us were Julie’s words that indicated all is going to come in the right order and that everything is in the right order for the two of us and everyone involved. She noted that it is extraordinary for her to see that in us there are “no strings that are hanging out, no strand is out of place”. Craig and I have been very committed with each other and with our family to ensure that what has needed to be said and done actually happens so that each relationship is “complete”. It was good to hear that we have done well at this.

In the middle of all of Julie’s wonderful spiritual assurances, she also always shares some of the very practical details that help balance my wellbeing, so I’m heading into a few dietary changes to help with managing the effect of the stress on my body. And on the emotional side, I’m preparing a keepsake memory book that will be helpful in the times to come. I had the blessing of a respite day recently at a dear friend’s home and spent much of the day re-reading the printed email messages from our time of courting. For Craig, Julie says for him to just keep eating whatever makes him happy!

Love,

Susanne