We had occasional times of men visiting Craig and being with him for periods of time during the day or evening, including Craig’s son Dave. However, at night it was women accompanying Craig. We referred to ourselves as midwives (Michelle, Leah, Holly, and I) and it felt very much as if we were creating Craig’s room as a warm, loving, caring space for him. We stroked his head, massaged his feet, held his hand, put cold cloths on his forehead, adjusted his covers and pillows, and saw to his comfort as much as possible.
As you know, we stopped giving Craig morphine on Monday evening. He stayed essentially pain free in his head from then on. However, on Tuesday evening various issues began to arise. He seemed to be having more active seizures/tremors happening that caused him to be reaching for his face and head and potentially hurting himself. His legs and hips were more restless. We had Tammy, one of the on-call hospice nurses come to the house to help us assess how to ensure Craig was safe and as comfortable as possible for the night.
Tammy helped us pad all around Craig with towels, sheets, and blankets. We put a thick comforter on the floor in case he had a seizure bad enough to fall out of bed. We put a sock on his hand to protect him from scratching his eyes. She gave us normal saline to gently put in his eyes, as dehydration had left them dry. She gave us swabs for his lips and mouth to soak in his favorite liquid (Mandarin Orange Spice tea). We then met as a team to discuss how to handle the nighttime issues that could arise, how to recognize signs of death, and what to do when he passed. We then felt more confident and empowered by having specific tasks to do.
As Tammy was finishing up, we received a telephone call from Debbie Boyd-Tressler, who had been intuitively communicating with Craig. As you know, we had backed way off from interacting with Craig the previous night – little touch, very quiet, and so on, even though his eyes were often open. We were concerned about interfering with his process of letting go of this world. Debbie shared with us that there was nothing we could do that would interfere with his process, that he was filled with joy, and that whatever would make us happy was great for him. So, we touched him, played music, sang, prayed, and interacted with him all night! What a joy!
Once Craig had fluid in his eyes, he stopped reaching for them. We figured out that his hand was reaching for his head because his hair hadn’t been washed since Sunday morning and his head was itchy, so Michelle used the no-rinse shampoo and got his head clean and “scratched”. He then calmed down and quit reaching for his head. His auto-adjusting air mattress had been deflated since the power outage, and sciatic pain was reoccurring (he hadn’t wanted the mattress turned back on). Once we got it restarted and pain ointments rubbed into his back and hip, the leg and hip restlessness stopped. The major seizures we expected at the end did not happen, and all our ministrations calmed his whole body down. It was an amazing experience in effectively reading and responding to his body language!
I had a long stretch of hours with Craig by myself. As his breathing began to change around 4 a.m., I woke up Holly and then the girls and we spent a couple of hours with him praying and playing music. We put on the CD of Craig’s music and sang along with it. Kim Klein, our primary hospice nurse came in before her shift at around 5:30 a.m. and checked him. She had to leave at 7:30 a.m. for a staff meeting and told us that it would still likely be a few hours. So, the girls and I went to bed for a bit and left Holly at his bedside.
Around 8:30/8:40 a.m. Craig’s sister called and woke me, so I checked on him and was assured he still was “stable” and not yet exhibiting the end-of-life signs and so went back to bed. Within minutes, I was called to immediately come to Craig’s room. Instead of a gradual stopping of breathing, his heart and breathing seemed to simply stop, and we noted his passing around 9 a.m. We also noted how appropriate it was that he died on July 1st, Canada’s independence day, since I was born and raised there! We then spent about 30 minutes praying and saying our goodbyes. We called the funeral home and Kim to come. Craig’s son Dave headed over to the house to have his time to say goodbye. He had been in to visit each day but left the night shifts to us. He arrived expressing how happy he was that his Dad was now free.
Love,
Susanne
No comments:
Post a Comment