Celebrating Life and Facing Death; 3-15-09

The gathering held last Sunday to celebrate Craig’s life, which many referred to as a “farewell party”, was absolutely wonderful. Generous friends created the occasion and hosted it, so Craig and I were able to attend simply as honored guests. We estimate over 200 people streamed in and out enjoying the delicious food, photographs, flowers, and socializing. At the same time, a continuous line of people approached Craig for a precious few minutes of connection. He started greeting friends at about 2:20, and the line finally finished up around 5 p.m. Craig’s employment with Radix Wire ended as of March 1st, so we joked about this also being his “retirement party”!

We felt that the diversity of the friends and family who came were beautifully representative of the unity Craig has dedicated himself to creating throughout his life. Bahá’ís, Christians, Muslims, Jews, and others I’m sure! Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Iranian, French, and many others. Family came from various places. Friends came from Toastmasters, workplaces, marriage community, our neighborhood, Landmark Education, cancer support groups, and more. But the overall theme was simply LOVE! In abundance.

Craig slept for two hours after the event and recovered his energy over the following couple of days. He is still attending the all day therapy at Euclid Rehab on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He continues to lose speech and memory, but overall is very peaceful and still enjoys being with those he loves. One of the party visitors stayed with us and recorded Craig’s favorite prayers on his MP3 player, so that is wonderful for him now that reading is much more difficult. Another visitor this week was Barbara Trauger-Querry, a long-time friend, Bahá’í, and our art therapist with hospice. She got us both painting and exploring where we are right now…transitioning, growing, grieving… We met with our hospice spiritual care person, Aimee, for the first time as well, sharing with her the Bahá’í views on life after death, so she can support us with those.

It’s been a mixed week for me – the stress of dealing with a myriad of legal and financial tasks has been ever-present. If I had it to do over again, I’d have hired a financial planner when Craig first got sick. It’s definitely harder dealing with things now and wondering about all the possibilities for how to support myself once Craig’s disability income ceases. But, denial of the reality won’t make it go away! Friday was my 53nd birthday, and that was a peaceful, loving day. At the end of the day, Craig and I shared phrases from our love letters and had time together. Good news came this week from my daughter Jennifer that her baby is healthy, growing normally, and a GIRL! Giuliana (pron. Juliana) Alexa DeMaria, likely due around July 15th.

So, we are spending quality time with one another and those we love, both family and friends. When Craig rests, I do as well – at least briefly! – and then tackle my endless to-do lists until he awakes. We often sleep late and eat whenever we feel like it. Last night we watched the movie Fireproof, a powerful and moving drama about marriage. This afternoon we sat out in the driveway in the sunshine with a friend--spring has been early this year. And, we just take life one day at a time.

Love,

Susanne