Why am I writing this blog?

Euclid (Cleveland), Ohio, United States
Here I share the amazing spiritual journey I began on July 19, 2007. I received the diagnosis of a golf-ball-sized tumor on top of the left parietal lobe (motor functions) of my brain. I had severe symptoms all up and down the right side of my body and had received an MRI scan of my brain. In August 2007, I learned that my diagnosis was a Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM). This is a common form of fast-growing brain cancer with a challenging prognosis. That's the external story about that moment in time. In the spiritual world I found (actually more like it found me) what I came to call the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path, and I began an amazing journey. After October of 2008, I lost the use of my right arm, and in early 2009, my cognitive abilities were struggling, and treatment options ended. My wife, Susanne, then began doing most of the blog postings, with my review and input whenever possible. I continued to apply the Fact-Based Spirit-Guided Path as the adventure continued. My soul then flew to the Kingdom of God on July 1, 2009. Thanks for your interest in my journey. Craig

Susanne's Perspective

During this entire journey, my wife, Susanne, had an entirely different kind of experience. Initially she added comments to some of my posts describing her experience of the moments I discussed and offerred perspectives on our relationship. In the latter stage of this journey, she is writing the blog, as I am no longer able to do so. I am truly delighted that she is doing so. Susanne and I work together as marriage educators/relationship coaches and she has written many books on preparing for and strengthening marriages so you can count on her comments to be insightful and poignant.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Music, Paintings, and Poetry, June 11, 2009

Much to Craig’s delight, he now has his guitar back that he loaned a friend. It has been his faithful companion since at least college days. The music therapist filled him with joy when she played “his” songs on it for him this week. www.claricomm.com/CraigGuitar.jpg

We’ve been talking about our current hospice painting and poetry but haven’t really shared it, so I’m doing this posting to attempt to do a little of that. On June 6th, Craig painted an abstract depiction of his journey toward the next world. www.claricomm.com/LivingUp.jpg In response to questions from his daughter Michelle and I, Craig shared these words about it:

Living Up

Narrowing passageway

I’m going along it

Traveling on a river

There’s a plaza, an arrival place, a compass [far right of painting]

Traveling here, arriving there

People with me throughout history

Very nice at end, less people

More help at beginning, less at end

I’m in the middle, I want to be at the end

There are things to walk over first [orange lines]

- Craig Farnsworth, June 6, 2009

Today in art therapy, he painted in his art journal a painting he entitled “Soul Completion”. www.claricomm.com/SoulCompletion.jpg The circle represents Craig, and inside are the angels and Craig together, singing, praying, and communing. Today for the first time Craig did his painting in bed instead of up at the table. www.claricomm.com/ArtinBed.jpg

On June 5, I painted “Intimately Touching The Dying Process” www.claricomm.com/IntimateDying.jpg. I then shared these words:

(Context: If it’s so hard, why aren’t you putting Craig in a nursing home?)

So when I began today, I used the flesh tone for the gift of touch,

and then drew with the fingers of touch

In the center part of the gift of having Craig here with me at this time

Is that we can hold hands

I can lay with him,

Put my ear on his chest and hear his heart beat.

And I’m intimately touching his most basic physical needs

As well as his need for emotional and spiritual touch.

We’ve been intimately touching on the gift of our marriage

And I’m intimately involved in helping him speak

And companioning him as he struggles with living and dying

It feels like a privilege at this time to

Help him with his journey

And to powerfully choose with him

How to beautifully die.

- Susanne Alexander, June 5, 2009

This evening we watched a movie that we both enjoyed, and then we listened to Bahá’í prayers set to music for about an hour. Last night was difficult as Craig’s lungs filled up with phlegm and it was a struggle to get him positioned in the bed for greater comfort. It was scary listening to him have difficulty breathing. I didn’t call hospice fast enough for help with him…I’m still learning about doing that! I’m hoping he won’t be coughing as much tonight and we both sleep better.

Love,

Susanne

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1 comment:

Susan said...

Thank you both for sharing these very intimate insights into your journey. The artwork from both of you is so beautifully touching and expressive. I'm happy that Craig's guitar has come home to him. Loving prayers surround you both from all around the world.

June 12, 2009 at 4:32 AM

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